St. Louis Business Journal
Turning job discontent
into a job goal

By Anna Navarro

February 2000 - To make a successful career change, we often need to start by focussing on what's wrong with our current work situation. But we have to move beyond that stage quickly if we want to avoid becoming a wallowing whiner.

When Charlene first came to see me, she was so angry about her job that it was all she could talk about.

Initially, I encouraged her to get in touch with the negatives. She believed she was treated unfairly. She was overwhelmed by the volume of the work. She also resented operating in an environment where saying "yes" to the overbearing owner was more important than making a real contribution.

Her complaints had genuine merit, but after several sessions of this I began to sense Charlene was getting stuck in complaining. I noticed it was easier for her to focus on what she didn't like than to clarify what she wanted.

So I switched my approach. Instead of just listening empathetically to her problems, I started challenging her to define what she wanted. If she reverted to complaining, I gently prompted her to imagine its opposite.

It was slow going at first. Her momentum was entrenched in defining what was wrong. But I persisted, despite her occasional irritation with me. I knew she needed to figure out what she wanted and that allowing her to focus on the negatives was not enough to bring about the improvements she sought in her work life.

Over time she came to realize that she was an enormously introverted person who preferred to think and work alone than to interact with others. This was at the base of many of her difficulties, though the work environment she inhabited would have been an unhappy place for almost anyone.

As she began to contemplate the possibility of working alone, she also realized she felt guilty about it. She had learned as a child one should be of service to other people. Her preference for solo work felt selfish.

We talked a lot about whether it was OK for her to be an introvert, and whether it was possible to work alone and still be a good person. I urged her to consider that there are many ways to be of service to others. I also laid out my own belief that work satisfaction starts with accepting who you really are, and what you really want as the point of departure. It's hard to be of service to others when you are miserable.

Eventually she came to accept her preference for solo endeavors. She began to understand her belief that working alone was selfish as a childhood misconception that had carried over into her adult life.

Once she was able to accept what she wanted, things began to fall in place quickly. She realized she could do much of the work she was skilled at from home, as a telecommuter, working on an hourly basis. It didn't take long for her to find a position that allowed her to do exactly what she wanted.

She would probably never have gotten this result if she hadn't moved beyond complaining, even though her complaints had real merit. Like most of us, she had to use the negatives as a stimulus to defining what she really wanted, but she couldn't stop there.

If she had skipped defining what she wanted and had simply "escaped" to another similar job, the chances are she would not have been happy for long in her new position. Though the new working environment might have been more favorable, she would have still been in a structure that was essentially antithetical to her introverted preferences.

Only by wrestling with what she really wanted and dealing with the unconscious belief systems that stood in her way could she recognize that a perfect situation was close at hand.

And so it is for most of us. Focusing on the negative serves an important function initially. It's what propels us to action. But then we need to move beyond that to the considerably more challenging task of defining what would make us happy. Sometimes that requires that we deal with internal conflicts created by acknowledging who we are and what we want.

Using our discontent to define our dreams is at the heart of most successful workplace changes. It's the alchemy that turns the negativity of our everyday experiences into the gold of being happy at work.

Anna Navarro is the founder of Work Transitions, a nationwide career consulting firm that trains independent career strategists and consults with individual clients.

This column was originally published by the St. Louis Business Journal. The actual title of the column and date in which it appeared in the Business Journal may be slightly different from what appears on WorkTransitions.com.