St. Louis Business Journal
Pinpointing a perfect career
can create panic

By Anna Navarro

March 2000 - Pinpointing the career of our dreams can create a panic, a need to run from the very thing we most desire.

Mary Jo was a mid-level manager whose company was on the auction block. Early in our work she said in passing that she'd always wanted to be a lawyer. Then she quickly laughed and said ruefully, "Oh, well, I guess that'll never happen".

As we continued to work together, it seemed to me the law might fit. She liked analysis, research and writing, and was a good negotiator. She also wanted independence. The income of a beginning lawyer was in the lower range of her needs.

When I suggested the law might be a possibility, she rejected the notion immediately. She was sure she'd never pass the law school entrance exams, get accepted to law school or be able to afford the education. I countered with potential solutions. She dismissed them as impractical.

What was going on here? This usually logical and tenacious lady was protecting herself from disappointment by distancing herself from what she most wanted. How were we to break through this impasse?

I decided that instead of arguing with her, I'd encourage her to explore other options.

She wanted out of the corporate world, so we systematically looked at a number of start-up opportunities and possibilities for buying businesses.

As we considered these options, they looked just as difficult to undertake as law school, and seemed potentially less satisfying.

But the advantage of having explored these self-employment possibilities is that they gave Mary Jo a reality check. Nothing that she was interested in was likely to be a piece of cake to pull off.

I re-introduced the idea of law after she had looked at several other options. This time I was more insistent.

Here is what I said:

Law school would be expensive, but not more expensive than the capital required to start up or buy a business. Plus, she was in line to receive a severance package that might pay for most of law school.

She would not be earning money during school and this was a big stumbling block for her.

But I pointed out that her research had shown most business owners go through a 2-3 year period during which they don't draw an income from their fledgling enterprises. And this was roughly comparable to the length of legal training.

My objective was not to convince her to become a lawyer. She was the only one who could make that determination. But I did want her to seriously consider the law. She finally agreed to do some in-depth investigation.

As she talked to lawyers she had to admit that the career seemed perfect. She could be an independent professional using her favorite skills. This was more than a childhood fantasy.

But she was still scared about whether, as a 40-something, she could pass the entrance exam, do well in school and get hired. I urged her to work through the law schools to find successful alum's who started their studies when they were older. Her conversations with them persuaded her it might be doable, though she'd have to work hard.

In the end it took an act of raw courage for Mary Jo to apply to law school. But once she embarked in that direction, it seemed she was unstoppable. She did very well both on her entrance exams and as a student. She was recruited by law firms despite her age because of the excellence of her track record and interviewing skills.

Most of my clients start working with me because they don't know what they want to do. But Mary Jo was the reverse. She knew deep in her soul from the beginning that she wanted to be a lawyer. Her fear almost kept her from even considering it.

For some people, this fear in response to pinpointing a dream is a short-term reaction. For others, especially those who grow up in families who teach them that you can never get what you want (like Mary Jo), it's a prolonged experience that takes considerable effort and courage to get through.

That act of courage is what enabled Mary Jo to get through her impasse. It freed her to use the problem solving and persistence that was a natural part of her make-up. It's what enabled her to embrace her long-buried dream and turn it into a reality.

Anna Navarro is the founder of Work Transitions, a nationwide career consulting firm that trains independent career strategists and consults with individual clients.

This column was originally published by the St. Louis Business Journal. The actual title of the column and date in which it appeared in the Business Journal may be slightly different from what appears on WorkTransitions.com.