St.Louis Business Journal
COPING WITH NOT GETTING A PROMOTION

By Anna Navarro September 2010  

Examples in this column are fictionalized to protect privacy.



Elliot was beside himself. He’d been expecting a promotion to regional database manager for the national retail company for which he worked. Instead he learned via an internal announcement that the company had gone outside to fill the position.

He was furious because he’d been working very hard to earn the promotion and had gotten excellent performance reviews. His boss had even encouraged him to apply for the position. In his own mind, he’d thought it was a done deal.

He was ready to explode at his boss. But fortunately, his boss was out of town when the announcement came out and Elliot had the good sense to refrain from unleashing his fury in an email.

I’d worked with Elliot ten years earlier and had helped him make the transition from being a high school math and computer teacher, a job he really disliked, to a new career in information technology, which suited him very well. He called to get my input on the situation. Luckily, a client who had an appointment that very evening had just called saying he had a last minute conflict and would not be able to meet. So I was able to see Elliot right away.

When we met, Elliot said he was going to let his boss know how angry he was and demand an explanation for what had happened. Part of his anger was due to the long hours he’d devoted in the last year to a tough assignment with impossible deadlines. He’d justified that to himself and his family as the price of the promotion.

It was only with difficulty that I persuaded him to calm down and shift to a stance of saying as little as possible initially about what had happened. Both he and his boss were likely to be too defensive to have a rational conversation at this stage. If his boss (or anyone else) mentioned it, I urged him to say that of course he was disappointed, but that he accepted the decision.

Later, after his anger cooled and he could trust himself to have a thoughtful conversation, (perhaps in a few weeks?) I suggested he approach his boss and ask for feedback about why he hadn’t been chosen for the promotion, and what he needed to do to improve his chances in the future.

This approach was difficult for Elliot to even contemplate. He felt taken advantage of and wanted very much to vent. But there wasn’t much to be gained by dumping his anger on his boss. There was no chance he was going to change the decision. He had a family to support and couldn’t just quit. And even if he left, he’d need a good reference. As we continued to talk he sighed and agreed to proceed as I was suggesting.

When he did eventually talk to his boss about why he wasn’t chosen, he learned that a new policy had recently come down from corporate headquarters requiring higher level IT managers to have an MBA as well as a specialization in information systems. Though he didn’t say it outright, it was apparent to Elliot during the conversation that his boss felt a little guilty about how things played out.

In that moment, Elliot had the presence of mind to ask if his boss would support his getting an MBA on the company’s nickel. After the boss agreed, he further asked if during the time when he was in school he could have a lighter load, so he could balance work, school and family. His boss agreed to that as well.

Even though he was still a little annoyed that he’d worked such long hours on a project from hell, premised, in his mind, on a promotion that never materialized, Elliot he was pleasantly surprised that something positive eventually came out of the situation for him. He was looking forward to having an MBA paid for largely by the company.

Elliot got this result by doing a number of things that were challenging. First, he put his ego on hold and restrained his anger, even though it was difficult to do. Second, he expressed his disappointment in a low-key way and laced it with acceptance. Third, he eased his boss’s defensiveness by focusing on what he needed to do to be eligible for a promotion in the future. And last, he took advantage of the opportunity that not getting a promotion presented to ask for company paid education. That’s how he to turned the proverbial lemon into lemonade.

Anna Navarro is the founder of Work Transitions, a nationwide career consulting firm that works with clients on an individual basis to help them find more satisfaction and fulfillment in their work-lives. She can be reached by phone at (314) 367-0008 and her e-mail address is email@worktransitions.com. For more information visit the worktransitions.com website.

This column was originally published by the St. Louis Business Journal. The actual title of the column and date in which it appeared in the Business Journal may be slightly different from what appears on WorkTransitions.com.