St. Louis Business Journal
Have you thanked your boss lately?

By Anna Navarro

February 2004 - I recently did an informal survey to see how many people had gotten a Christmas bonus or gift from their boss. About half said they had. Of these I asked how many had written their boss a thank-you note. The answer was startling: none.

Everyone had given verbal thanks when they received the gift. But by stopping there they missed a terrific opportunity to develop a more positive relationship with their boss and to bring more civility to the workplace.

When I asked why they hadn't written a thank-you note, most said that they didn't think it was necessary. A few expressed concern that it might be going overboard and seem obsequious. One said she was embarrassed at not having given a gift to her boss, and didn't know how to handle the fact that she received one. So she just wanted to forget the whole incident.

A few people asked me if an e-mail would have done the same thing. I don't think so. E-mail is a tool of efficiency and convenience. Handwritten notes take more time and trouble, and that is the reason they are better. A thoughtful gesture deserves another in response.

There are many things besides Christmas gifts and bonuses for which bosses deserve a written expression of thanks: a raise, a promotion, approval to attend a conference or seminar, the opportunity to take on a visible, career-enhancing project, flexibility to deal with illness or family issues. The list could go on and on. While it may not always be visible, bosses often have to work hard or pay a price themselves to get you these goodies.

For example, bosses often get handed a total budget for raises, which they have to allocate among all those who report to them. Your boss may have to go through some serious agonizing to determine how much to give you, versus Tommy down the hall, and that's rarely a pleasant task. If you are allowed some time away from work to deal with a family emergency, your boss may have to juggle deadlines or assignments, and may even take some heat if timelines aren't met.

When they do things like that, being thanked is something bosses are bound to appreciate. It's not a career-saving move on your part, but it is a good thing to do. Civility breeds civility.

And bosses aren't the only ones we need to thank. Secretaries, receptionists and countless others who go that extra mile are reinforced in their efforts when they get acknowledged by a genuine "thank you!"

How do you decide whether verbal thanks are enough or a handwritten note is called for? I don't have a simple answer. Obviously you don't want to pepper the world with notes or they becomes meaningless. I tend to write them whenever I think people have gone beyond the norm in extending themselves to me. But I err on the side of sending it when I'm not sure.

These handwritten notes don't have to be time consuming or formal. A few lines focussing on what you value or appreciate about the other person's effort is all you need. I keep some notepaper handy for this purpose along with stamps. I've even, on occasion, received thank-you postcards from others that have solidified my sense of feeling seen and appreciated in a way a verbal thank-you can't accomplish.

Am I sounding like someone who got over-trained in a prim girls' school environment? Believe me when I tell you that's not where I developed an awareness of the power of expressing thanks. I grew up in a Latin culture where thank-you notes are unheard of. And I look back on my early career and cringe at the people whom I failed to thank, despite their graciousness and generosity. But as I've matured I have realized that it's hard to thank people too much.

If you are reading this and saying to yourself, "There is no one in my work environment whom I want to thank", take heed of that internal conversation. Because what you are really saying is that your workplace and the people in it aren't important to you. And maybe that's a sign that you would be better off elsewhere.

Anna Navarro is the founder of Work Transitions, a nationwide career consulting firm that trains independent career strategists and consults with individual clients.

This column was originally published by the St. Louis Business Journal. The actual title of the column and date in which it appeared in the Business Journal may be slightly different from what appears on WorkTransitions.com.