St.Louis Business Journal
GOOD NETWORKING, BAD NETWORKING

By Anna Navarro January 2010  

Examples in this column are fictionalized to protect privacy.



Donna found her position through networking. She’d promised herself that when she landed a job, she would “pay it forward” and network with people who asked for her help. But her resolve was being tested by some of the people she networked with.

She’d met recently with a middle aged man named Todd. The person who introduced them at a neighborhood social gathering mentioned the kind of work Donna did, and Todd instantly attached himself to her and started asking networking questions.

Donna gently put on the brakes. She was there to socialize and didn’t want to spend the evening talking to him about work. She offered to meet with him at another time, and gave him her office number. She chalked up his insensitivity to eagerness.

He called and they set up a time to get together. He was a little late to the meeting, and after a few perfunctory pleasantries he launched right into asking her for a job. She said (honestly) that she didn’t know of any openings.

He next asked if she could refer him to anyone else in the field he could network with. Because of his inconsiderate manner, Donna was a little hesitant to give him the names of her contacts. She tap danced and finally said she needed some time to think over who she might recommend.

They continued talking for a while, with Todd asking a few distracted questions he could easily have answered with internet research. Then he glanced at his watch, and said he had to leave. That was the last she’d heard from him.

This morning she’d gotten another call from someone who wanted to network and she found herself reluctant to respond. Giving networking interviews took a lot of time and she was really busy.

As she thought more about it, however, she realized that underneath her reluctance was irritation with Todd. She felt used and unappreciated by him and it was souring her on networking.

But then she recalled another time a few months ago when a young man named Matt had asked to meet with her, and her attitude began to soften.

Donna had known Matt slightly at her prior job. He’d called her at the office, said he’d been laid off, and was calling to see if she’d be willing to meet with him to give him the benefit of her insight and advice about job hunting. He added he wanted to make it clear he wasn’t going to put her on the spot by asking for a job. That put Donna at ease, since she didn’t know of any jobs.

When they met, Matt spent a considerable amount of time at the beginning asking about her new job and how she’d found it. Donna enjoyed telling him about her successes. He indicated he had researched the organization she now worked for and was impressed by its track record.

Then he told her concisely about his own background. He followed that by asking for her input on his resume, and feedback on how he came across when he talked about his background. She gave him a few suggestions and he took notes on what she said.

He asked if there were others she could refer him to. He was so considerate and thoughtful that she found herself eagerly thinking through who among her contacts might be helpful to him.

A few days after meeting with Matt, she got a very nice thank you letter from him, recounting how and why their meeting had been valuable to him. He followed this with occasional emails in which he reported how he had put her advice to good use, and what happened as he met with the people to whom she’d referred him.

A few months later he emailed that he’d found a job, and that it was a referral from one of her referrals that had led to his getting hired. He thanked her again for her help and said he’d like to stay in touch.

Reflecting on her experience with Matt re-energized Donna’s commitment to “paying it forward”. She decided she wasn’t going to let the fact that Todd botched networking get in the way of helping the person who’d just called.

Anna Navarro is the founder of Work Transitions, a nationwide career consulting firm that works with clients on an individual basis to help them find more satisfaction and fulfillment in their work-lives. She can be reached by phone at (314) 367-0008 and her e-mail address is email@worktransitions.com. For more information visit the worktransitions.com website.

This column was originally published by the St. Louis Business Journal. The actual title of the column and date in which it appeared in the Business Journal may be slightly different from what appears on WorkTransitions.com.