St.Louis Business Journal
WORK ISN'T EVERYTHING: SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON PERSONAL LIFE

By Anna Navarro

June 2008  

Author's note: Client stories in this column are based on actual situations fictionalized to protect privacy and told with permission.



People who are accomplished in their work sometimes define life problems as career issues because that’s where they have the greatest sense of competency and control. It’s often a challenge for them to step back and realize work is not the problem and they need to look for solutions in other arenas of their lives.

The bottom had dropped out of Debbie’s world a year before she came to see me. Her husband and soul mate had died of lymphoma. They had recently moved to a new city for him to accept an offer as Executive Vice President and Provost of a university on the East Coast.

Debbie was planning to launch a new career at the same time. After 25 very successful years as a professor of communications, she had gotten a law degree and passed the bar. She was excited about starting to job hunt. Then her husband’s illness was diagnosed.

After her husband’s death, she was in a quandary about what to do. She’d put aside job hunting while caring for her husband. She didn’t feel very connected to her new location. Then her mother, who lived halfway across the country, became very ill. She finally decided to move again to help care for her mother.

After settling in she decided to look for work. She’d always been successful at work. She needed to feel that sense of competence and control again.

We did a self-assessment to figure out what she wanted in a work situation, then brainstormed a variety of potential careers that might fit. She researched careers both within and outside the law, but though she wanted desperately to get started on something, nothing seemed right.

She got so frustrated she decided to stop researching careers and instead just look for any job she could. That approach made job hunting difficult because it was so scattered. But in the end, she landed a job as an attorney working for a state government agency.

A year after she started, she contacted me again saying that her two year commitment would be complete in a year and she wanted to set up an appointment to begin a nationwide search for another “second” career.

When she came to see me, I asked what she liked about her job. She said she liked the people she worked with, the physical environment, the variety of tasks, the fact that she worked both in and out of the office and that she had the opportunity to learn a lot. Also that she was helping people without having to get deeply involved with individual clients, as she would if she were in private practice.

When I pressed for dislikes, she said, “I guess I only dislike it when I ask ‘Is that all there is’ ”. She then said that if her husband were alive the job would be perfect, because she made a difference, but it wasn’t overtaxing. The only other negative she could come up with was that the pay wasn’t high, but then she immediately said that wasn’t a major issue.

I commented that it sounded like the job was in fact a good fit, and that perhaps what she needed instead was to attend to the non-work aspects of her life.

We explored personal interests that had lain dormant for a long time and talked through what possibilities they might offer for connecting with other people. She said she was comfortable networking and meeting people in social settings. We discussed a number of groups and organizations she might become involved in. As she left that session, she commented: “OK. I guess I need to focus more on social things than on career change.”

About six months later she emailed and reported she was still enjoying her work, and becoming active in things that interested her. She attends events , fundraisers, lectures and book signings. She also rides her new bike and signed up for several singles matching services. She does things with friends but says being willing to do things alone is important. She is enjoying doing things and meeting people.

I certainly believe that work is a very important component of our lives. But as dedicated as I am to helping people find satisfying work, I also realize that work isn’t everything. Sometimes people who are used to finding a good deal of their satisfaction through work need encouragement to say work is “good enough” so they can attend to other aspects of their lives that require attention.

Anna Navarro is the founder of Work Transitions, a nationwide career consulting firm that trains independent career strategists and consults with individual clients.

This column was originally published by the St. Louis Business Journal. The actual title of the column and date in which it appeared in the Business Journal may be slightly different from what appears on WorkTransitions.com.